Monday, May 24, 2010

I Am Becoming Me!






Welcome to my blog on this Monday where you are getting two posts in one!! 
and my


I invite you back every day this week where I will be sharing some Unity (and even Ippity) creations all week long!  I hope you will come back and leave a sweet comment because there will be 
BLOG CANDY 
drawn on Saturday from people who leave comments each day!






So Eryn is our fabulous hostess for our Hippity Hop this week and she has challenged us for this week's HH Challenge (IHHC25) to make something Faux!  How fun is that!!  We hope that you will play along with us for this week's challenge and upload your creation using Ippity stamps and something faux to the SCS Gallery.  You can win a prize randomly just for entering. More details are on the Ippity Blog.  

For the complete list of Hippity Hop Blogs to hop on today, please visit the Ippity blog HERE!!


FAIR WARNING!
From here on down things are going to get personal, so if you prefer not to get into that than just scroll down and glance at my project and hop over to the next blog.  But if you care to learn more about what I have been hinting at lately that has been going on in my life, then read on for some insight into my life these days!

About five weeks ago I had to ask my husband of only one and a half years to move out of my home.  We have been separated since that time and will be getting a divorce in the very near future.  Without getting into the gory details of our break up, suffice it to say that my husband was making some choices that could jeopardize everything that I have worked for and it could have put us in a very bad situation financially and certainly emotionally.  I know that many of you don't believe in divorce and I like to think that I went into this marriage not expecting to get one either, but my husband changed.  He is not the same man that I met five years ago.  And ever since he lost his job he has chosen the wrong way to cope with it.  I saw warning signs shortly after we were married, and I have given him multiple chances to get himself straightened out, but for whatever reasons, he just didn't do it.

I felt that my hands were tied and that all I had left to do was to protect me and my children from the consequences of his actions.  So here I am, single again and wondering how and why these things keep happening to me!  I feel like I am a nice person and that I deserve to have a loving and giving relationship but for some reason Mr. Right keeps alluding me!  I am a fighter and I won't give up, but I do feel that a little introspection into why I keep choosing men that don't work out for me is in order!  So I plan on taking things slowly and working on myself.  

I have learned that if people in a relationship don't make each other better people, then they probably aren't right for each other.  Well, neither Tom nor I were the best we could be in our marriage. I had gotten lazy with my own body, with household things and even with my kids.  I learned that my paper crafting was an escape for me because it always brought me happiness.  Now I know that I need to work on balance and moderation.  Those are the things my obsessive compulsive behavior always struggles with!  

I have decided to step down from the Whimsie Doodles DT a little early and my term with the SCS Clean and Simple DT is almost over too.  So all I will be left with will be my Ippity DT responsibilities.  And I am super excited about being able to give all my crafting energies to Ippity and to trying to get published more.  I have had to take on more of the household responsibilities with Tom's absence, so having a little extra time to do these things is going to be much easier.  

My apologies for the past five weeks or so as you may have noticed my distance. I used to try to make comments in the Galleries, and I was much better at visiting and commenting on all the blogs for our blog hops too.  I plan to be doing that again!  It is something that I enjoy doing and don't look at as a chore or a DT responsibility, but a way to stay connected to my Ippity and Unity buddies!  I really appreciate all of you and I wouldn't have shared all of this with you if I thought you wouldn't have a supportive comment or a shoulder for me to cry on.  I am always amazed at the loving friendships you can have with people that you may never meet in person.  I truly value each and every one of you and thank you for listening to my story.  I would so appreciate your prayers and concern as me and my family push through this and find our happy ending!!  

As part of my healing process I decided to make a layout about my current circumstances...  I used both Ippity and Unity stamps to complete the page!


Supplies Used:
Ippity Stamps:  Flourish and Butterfly (Now and Always); Polka dot tab (to created dots on "button" and butterfly) (A Moment in Time); Picture Mat (A Bit of Burlap)
Unity Stamps: Sentiments and Title (Brave Girls Melody Ross collection); Large flourish (Where You Are Donna Downey collection)
Ink: Stampin' Up: Really Rust, Bordering Blue, Creamy Caramel
DP: Bo Bunny (Mama-Razzi collection)
Flowers: Bo Bunny (Mama-Razzi) 
Brads: Basic Grey
Markers: Copics


Can you guess what item on my layout is for this week's Faux challenge??  If you guessed the button that is in the center of larger flower cluster then you are right!!  I used chipboard and covered it with paper that I stamped with the polka dots and then pierced two holes in it and then covered the top of the "button" except for the holes with Glossy Accents by Ranger!


Here is a closeup of the butterfly colored with copics and the flower that I placed over one of the stamped Ippity flourishes.


The journaling reads...
At 46 and after 3 failed marriages I AM FINDING that my life has Not turned out exactly as I had expected when I was younger.  As far as motherhood, I have NO DISAPPOINTMENTS. I always dreamed of being a mother even more than I dreamed of being a wife, and I LOVE it!  I am also happy by my choice of career.  My job fulfills me and has always been a means for me to support me and my children whether I was married or not.  For these things I am so thankful. But with the recent demise of my present marriage, I am forced to address why the poor track record. What needs fixing?
I AM LEARNING  as I get older that there are small things and BIG things Things you can compromise on and things that you can't!  With each relationship my list of things I won't tolerate, and my list of things that I definitely expect, keeps getting longer and longer.  So now, I AM SEEKING to learn more about WHO I am and WHAT I need and want in a relationship to ensure success and happiness (should I ever try marriage again!)

There you have it!  Just the beginning of a lot of healing and questioning I have to do!  It will be interesting to see how everything works out and what my future holds for me!  :-)


So sorry for the lengthy post!! Don't be afraid to come back tomorrow... I promise it will be shorter!!  Be sure to leave a comment for a chance to win blog candy later this week.  You can leave a new comment every day for a better chance at winning!!

Have a wonderful day and may your bucket overflow with the joy of knowing you have friends that will love and support you through all the trials and troubles of life! My bucket sure overflows with that! :-)



71 comments:

dahlhousedesigns said...

Big hugs to you my friend. Such a heartfelt layout that will be a wonderful reminder to look ahead and not behind! I think the card I made today was for you and didn't even know it. :)

StampinCathy said...

Sorry to hear that you are going through all this. I know that you will come out better and I just love your outlook. Your page is just priceless. Just remember that he's the one that lost something really special. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Good Luck in your new adventure in finding yourself. Hugs to you!

Lisa H. said...

OH, Kelly! you know I lift you up! your post today was so brave and shows just how strong a woman you really are! I LOVE, ADORE, and am in AWE of your scarpbook page! it's beautiful and so are YOU! and I'm so glad you made the choice to focus on ippity!

Eva said...

Kelly, my sweet friend, this is one AMAZING layout that SHOULD totally be published...it shows REAL LIFE as is and I love you for who you are, and my guesses so do all who surround you! I am so in love with the way you used these amazing stamps, how you incorporated so many different sets to make this incredible layout! I love you my friend, and you will get through this. Remember, YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU SHOULD BE. All these events from the past have led you to where you are for you to learn lessons from for the highest good all concerned! Love ya and I am sooo proud of you!!!!

Katie Skiff said...

Wow, girl, that is amazing! Life isn't easy for sure, and there are always choices that need to be made. Although tough, it looks like you choose right. I am agreeing that you are RIGHT WHERE YOU SHOULD BE... Look UP and follow HIS signs. He is there, and will be with you!
Sending you lots of loves!

Donna said...

First of, your page is AMAZING! Love the stamping on there ad the faux button looks great. Second, thank you for sharing the journaling and your story. Third, hugs to you as you set out on this next phase of your life.

Lone Pine Designs said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles...hang in there...my thoughts and prayers are with you. Aren't you glad you have a creative outlet to help in the healing...thanks for sharing.

Schnauzermom said...

Hugs!!!!! I love the sentiment, and the layout is fabulous...

Eryn Hagen said...

YOU are such an amazing person Kelly...you are a woman that I can honestly say that I look up to! you are so POSITIVE & optimistic and I love you to pieces! thank you for sharing a piece of you with us today!! i just know that this is your journey and everything will work out just right and like Eva said...you are right where you should be!!
now this layout...well, it's AWESOME! I love how you incorporated all of those stamps and how it is a reflection of your life right now! Simply AMAZING!! Hugs & Love to you my friend!

Ohana in Bend said...

you are courageous and your strength will be your faith and family and friends. i'm just beginning to know everyone but not a first timer to your situation. i will be praying for you and looking for updates. and OH YES! your layout is a first step in healing! keep on going! i love your layout!

Handmade Creations by Stephanie said...

Amazing layout Kelly!!!You are such an amazingly strong Woman and I soo admire that and look up to you.You have been such a great and inspiring friend to me and I so look forward to having a long lasting friendship with you!!!
Love ya!!!

Deb said...

Warm hugs, my sweet friend...I'm so sad to see you hurting, but so proud of the way you are bearing this heavy burden--with strength and the desire to learn and grow. And what a beautiful way to take your first steps toward healing! Love ya girlie!

BonnieRose said...

Kelly, thks for being real. I struggle with that very thing myself.. some ppl think I'm just this happy bubbly person, but the truth is I can hurt like anyone else, and feel unloved like so many others out there. PPl often just see what they wanna see. Hugs. I applaud you for being real today. I love your layout gf, and all you shared, your journaling is wonderful. As a writer, and as I work on my story and my memoir that one day I hope to hv published.. well I understand the need to step back fr certain toxic ppl in your life. I've had to do the same, and I must say, it feels WONDERFUL! Bravo gf.. you inspire me and will continue to do so. You take care of YOU and know you'll always hv a friend in me. xo

Gwen said...

Beautiful layout and I applaud you for the introspection. I've learned (in my old age!) that the decisions others make don't need to affect a friendship. May God be close to you and your family!

Heather said...

I think this is Beautiful and that you are beautiful. This shows us you, like an open book. It shows how strong and beautiful of a person you are. It is always easier to sit back and judge, but that just means those aren't the living. You have chosen a path that is the hardest. It would have been easier to stay with someone who was a sinking ship and live with the consequences later because you were afraid to be alone and face your own fears and your own problems. But trust me when I say I know how strong you are and that you will accomplish anything you put your mind to! You are definitely someone to look up to and I look forward to seeing you grow! Super big hugs my friend and I am thinking of you!

secret scrapbooker said...

So sorry to hear youve had a challenging time, all i can say is we make the choices that are right for us.
I love that youve documented this time in a layout.
sending you positive thoughts :0)
Kate x

{jennie} said...

So sorry your life is going through changes, but seems like you are heading in the right direction. Remember to take care of YOU!
Hugs, Jennie

Suzi said...

Your layout is awesome. Hugs to you & the situation you're going thru. It's interesting the prespective that age gives us. Good luck!!

Brooke said...

hmm... i tried to leave a comment earlier... hopefully this time it will STICK. LOL
Sending TONS of HUGS and LOVE your way Kelly!

Thanh Vo said...

*Biggest hugs*

Kelly, I'll say it once more - you are going to be missed in the last month of our WD team together! As I knew of your situation earlier, you already know that I'm thinking of you and continue to give you my support.

Ramsey said...

Love the LO! Sending hugs as well!

jo said...

So sorry to hear what you are going through Kelly. I hope that everything works out for you.

I love the LO...great journalling from the heart.

Sending you hugs xx

Sheila said...

My heart goes out to you, stay strong and keep you head up. You are a wonderful woman and you will find that Knight in Shining Armour that will treat you like the queen you are.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Debbi said...

You are a BRAVE GIRL. I don't know if you follow the Brave Girl daily inspirations, but I feel it's a must for everyone, whether they are going through a hard time or not. It has brought my daughter from the edge and made her smile again. If you aren't subscribed to it, please do. It's wonderful.

On a lighter side, I am my husband's fourth wife. We were married in our late forties. I figure we didn't find each other till we knew what is really important in life and what isn't. We weren't meant to be till then.

It may not feel like it at times now, but your bucket does overflow. Your faith will bring you through it and the right one will come along......and if he doesn't you are happy with yourself.

Love your page and the the way you used your Brave Girl stamps. (Seems thats the only stamps I'm using now days....Love them) May God Bless and keep you and your family safe, happy and healthy.

Savannah O'Gwynn said...

SUPPPPPPPPPPER cute:) I love this LO and all the stamps you used. LOVE what you wrote--so wonderful to get to know you more! And how "deep" this page/LO goes--wow! Great journaling:)

Scrapenabler said...

Love the layout and the faux button is really cute! Wishing you the best as you work through these hard times.

Maria Levine said...

Oh Kelly, I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I can give you a big "real" hug. It will all be ok, you deserve nothing but the best and you will find that.

Your layout is fabulous.

NoraAnne said...

Hugs to you Kelly and to your family. I am reading this at work and my eyes are filling with tears for you. Your layout looks beautiful, but I have to go back and read the journaling when I get home because somehow I don't think I could get through it at work.
Try to remember the old saying "things happen for a reason" and keep your chin up! You are a beautiful person and someday you will find your happy ending, until then enjoy your children and keep creating! You make me smile with every project you post!

Scrubbybubbles(sue) said...

Kelly, I love your project and I admire your courage. Bless your heart. Please know that we are here for you. *hugs*

JenMarie said...

{KELLY}
What a beautiful page!
May God bless you and give you peace.
LOVE you girlie!!

Jen said...

Kelly, you will have all the love, support and encouragement from all of your blog world friends. Your children will give you most importantly the 'unconditional' love. Keep creating from your heart and *smile*! This LO is fabulous! Big {{hugs}} to you!

Susan B. said...

Kelly,this is such a beautiful and heartfelt layout. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. You are such a sweet person and I wish you only the best.

Morissa Sweeney (SCS - stampinsweeney) said...

This is what scrapbooking should be. Who we are where ever we are in life. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you begin to move on to a new life. Hugs.

shuggy said...

hang in there, kelly. your work is amazing.

Anonymous said...

In time, with the support of friends and family and through creative pursuits healing will take place and new paths will be revealed. We all live and learn, though only God holds the answer sheet. It's a beautiful layout.
V.

Rona said...

Oh Kelly!! I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am visiting my sister and she is going through a divorce as well. I know you will grow through this and heal in time just as she will but nothing is easy. I will pray for you Kelly!

Maria Gurnsey said...

Oh my DEAR friend...I wish I was close enough to squeeze you!! I love so many things about you but your bravery and kind heart are just as inspiring as this layout! I'm so glad you are doing what is best for you and that I get to be a part of your life. Much love my friend :)

Angie Blom said...

Kelly.. this is such a wonderful and personal layout. It is good to get it out..and not bottled inside. I am so sorry to hear about your marriage.. Men SUCK sometimes.. sorry, had to say it!! If you ever need someone to talk to you know where I am.. At least you have done the right thing and broken ties, too not have to wake up to it staring you in the face..must help alot, it will get better..Your childern will always be there, and with faith and good friends.. your heart will heal. love you, Remember that song my Helen Reddy.. I am Woman.. hear me ROaR!! Xx

scraphappy1201 said...

Kelly, I have always firmly believed that everything happens for a reason. You may not know the reason at first, but I'm sure it will become clear as time goes by. You are a strong person and will be just fine! You have a lot of love and support here in the online craft world (and I'm sure in person as well). Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you during your transition. Getting off soapbox now....your creativity is an inspiration to many and I love how you've done your recent page. Keep crafting and healing. {hugs}

Emily (stampingout on SCS) said...

Oh Kelly...I am so sorry that you have been dealing with all of this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing this very personal story with all of your cyber stamping friends. We are here for you.

Great big HUGS and LOVE to you sweet Kelly!

Renee' Dezember said...

Kelly your LO is amazing and so are you! You will get through this and you will see someday why you had to go through it...I knew when I met you in CA that you were special and please know that I'm here...I love chatting with you and know that I cherish you I hope you know that I am always here.

(I've been having troubles leaving comments too...hope it works this time) Keep smiling always!

Debby/Darthy said...

Kelly your insight is amazing. The fact that you are looking at this situation in a rational way says everything. Ya, sometimes life sucks but tomorrow's another day. It sounds simple but it gets us through the day. You are brave, sensible and intelligent. I wish I could give you a giant hug and tell you everything is going to be alright. Your children are very lucky to have you. Congratulations on getting through the past five weeks and everything that led up to your decision.

Jennine Chambers said...

Kelly, First, your page is beautiful, everything about it is just amazing. It gave me goosebumps. I will keep you in my prayers.

Cheri Howard said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your recent struggles, Kelly! I will keep you in my prayers! And your layout is beautifully honest!

Ashley Nguyen Newell said...

Oh my sweet Kelly! I wish I could give you a big hug! It must be so hard to feel like you are starting over yet again but I think it's a wise choice to always protect yourself and your children first. You are such a strong and wonderful woman and I know that amazing things are ahead for you. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

You're layout is beautiful - and heartfelt. I love your blog & I hope that by sharing your story you begin to find some clarity in everything. Best of luck to you!

the whimsical butterfly said...

YOU are BEAUTIFUL. I am so so proud of you for putting it out there, but also for being TRUE to YOU and being BRAVE. Your layout is wonderful, and I am so honored to know you. You are YOU no matter who you are with, although I will pray and wish on every star for your every happiness one day because you have tons to share and even more to give. My BEAUTIFUL friend. I LOVE YOU.

Nancy said...

I will pray for you and hope that with each day you find more peace and a chance to find all the answers you are seeking! Best of luck and make time for yourself even if there is not time! Hugs!!

michib2006 said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children. You must me an amazingly strong woman to be able to make the decision you did and you should be congratulated as too many women out there are not strong enough to make the decision you did. I wish you much happiness in your future.

JPScraps said...

Your page is STUNNING! I'm just sorry for the reason you made it. You're so brave for putting that out for all to see. I'll be praying that each day brings you happiness & peace. You are truly a wonderful & caring person who deserves nothing but the best that life can offer. Hugs!

Diane S. said...

God bless you in your trials- you know that He is there for you and if you only listen to your heart, it will never steer you wrong!!

Lacey said...

stunning layout. really! My thoughts will be with you. Follow your heart and it will lead you. Best wishes to you and your future.

Jules! said...

You are a BRAVE girl!

Michelle (mla1111) said...

Sending prayers your way.... be strong. Lovely layout....

My Angel said...

Kelly, Sorry to hear you are having to deal with this in your life. What i know about you is you are an amazing lady & very giving & loving.

Awesome layout expressing real life issues. You will come out of this a much better person!

Sending prayers & hugs your way!!

My Angel said...

Kelly, Sorry to hear you are having to deal with this in your life. What i know about you is you are an amazing lady & very giving & loving.

Awesome layout expressing real life issues. You will come out of this a much better person!

Sending prayers & hugs your way!!

My Angel said...

Kelly, Sorry to hear you are having to deal with this in your life. What i know about you is you are an amazing lady & very giving & loving.

Awesome layout expressing real life issues. You will come out of this a much better person!

Sending prayers & hugs your way!!

Michelle said...

I love your layout.I have neer don one about me. I love the fact that the scrapbooking and journaligcan go together.

I am sorry to hear about all that you are going through right now. It must have been a tough decision, but sounds like a good one. Good luck in all you seek to find out about and better yourself. It seems that you are a pretty great person already!!! Best Wishes!

Mary Friederichsen said...

Hi Kelly,
This is a Beautiful layout, and only someone who is Beautiful in the inside could do anything so graceful and beautiful!
There is a Happy Ending for all of those that Believe!
I will pray for your happy ending, and for Grace and Courage to help you thru this time of struggle.

Blessings and hugs,
Mary

Suz said...

I hardly know you except thru blogs but even with that I feel like I do....

Beautiful moving layout. I'm so sorry for the situation you are in - only you know what is the right thing so don't let others make you feel bad . You need to put your children & yourself first - protecting them in all ways.

You're a strong woman & inspiring. The journey isn't always easy but as long as you grow & learn it will be great. I know you will find someone to share your life with who is worthy of such a fantastic loving wife. Keep praying about it & doing what you love & it will happen. Prayers & Hugs

jennifer mitten said...

Kelly,
Wow, that is really laying it all on the line. You have lots of support from all your fans out here in blogland.

Lillian Child said...

Oh, Kelly. Don't feel bad - you've made the right choice for you AND your children, who you are protecting by making this hard decision. They truly are the most precious things in your world! Your page is so very inspiring to all of us who have been there. Life is hard - and there is no EASY button. But it sure sounds like you've got such inner strength to be able to recognize the tough choices in front of you. HUGS HUGS HUGS, my dear. We're here for you whenever you need a shoulder, a friend, or just a reason to smile.

Sheri (a.k.a PaperCrafty) said...

Kelly, I just wanted to let you know again that I think you are an amazing woman!! I am thinking of you & your family!! Lots of love & hugs!!
Sheri

Katie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your separation and pending divorce. I too have been there and you will survive. My current hubby has also been divorced and while we are only in our early 30's, we both agree that our first marriages, as bad as they were, taught us to be better people. You are so right that there are things you can compromise on. I always tell my hubby that I choose my battles. I can forgive that he leaves his clothes on the floor daily. I can forget he sometimes doesn't put the toilet seat down. But, he ALWAYS respects me (and the kids). Find yourself, that that YOU that you find. That will make everything better....future relationship or not.

Your layout is really great and it has inspired me to create a layout of myself and where I am today in my life. I spend so much time making cards for others and scrappin' the kids that I forget to make things for myself. I will pray for you and your family during your difficult time and may God carry you through!

dclouser said...

So sorry to hear your news, Kelly. I hadn't seen this post but went back to it when I saw your wonderful blog candy today and knew I wanted to make a comment on each of your posts this week to get in the running for it! I'm glad I did because I've sent up a prayer for you today. I feel a connection with you because I bought my very first Ippity stamps from you! You deserve the best so don't ever sell yourself short again! And keep on giving us your terrific Ippity inspiration!

Lucy Newton said...

What an inspiring page , everyone should do one, we almost never scrapbook about ourselves.

Carol said...

Sorry to hear about your painful situation. However, it is probably best that you took decisive action now and saved yourself and your children further harm. Best wishes and big hugs to you.

♥ Audrey ♥ said...

Gosh, that LO is just fantastic! What a great way to journal your situation... must be a relief to let it out, even if it's on a page. So sorry to hear about what has happened and you are very brave to share it with us. All the best in what you do.

Lynne said...

Thank you for opening up your soul to your readers; it was an awesome, uplifting, heartfelt, and brave thing to do! Well written, well-said, I can so relate and I am with you - you are truly a strong soul ~

Hang in there! As they say, every ending brings a new beginning! God Bless You & Your Family ~ All of my very best!

Lynne
from VA

Kathy Martin said...

Fantastic page! Love the bits of detailing! :)

Shannah said...

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time (((hugs))).
Your honesty and creativity is just beautiful, and I hope it's what will sustain and heal you.
Warmest wishes for peace and happiness, Shannah